There will never be a day, hour, minute or second, I stop loving my daughter Sarah. Just as parents of living children unconditionally love their children always and forever, so do bereaved parents.
Though I will grieve the death of my daughter Sarah forever and then some, it does not mean my life is lacking happiness and joy. Quite the contrary, in fact. It is not either/or, it’s both/and. Grief and joy can and do coexist. My life is richer now. I live from a deeper place. I love deeper still. Because I grieve, I also know a joy like no other. The joy I experience now is far deeper and more intense than the joy I experienced before my loss.
Because I’ve clawed my way from the depths of unimaginable pain, suffering, and sorrow, again and again– when the joy comes, however, and whenever it does– it is a joy that reaches every bone in my body. I feel all of it, deeply. I embrace and thank every blessing. My life now is more rich and vibrant and full, not in spite of my loss, but because of it. In grief, there are gifts, sometimes many. These gifts don’t in any way make it all “worth” it, but I am grateful beyond words for each and every gift that comes my way. I bow my head to each one and say thank you, thank you, thank you. Because there is nothing– and I mean absolutely nothing– I take for granted. Living life in this way gives me greater joy than I’ve ever known possible.
I have my daughter Sarah to thank for that. Being her mom is one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given. Even death can’t take that away